Is it time to thin your herd?
Plus: The top news of the week — New brewery headed to Ballantyne; Charlotte FC scores its first goal; new county commissioner appointed; Epicenter foreclosure approved
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Column: Spring is the perfect time to purge people from your life to focus on those who matter most
Spring cleaning: It’s not just for closets.
By Colleen Brannan
With the weather warming up, birds chirping and flowers blooming, this time of year always gives me a new lease on life.
As you clear out your closets and garage this spring, it’s also a perfect time to take a closer look at people in your life, both personally and professionally, to see if they are keepers.
Over the past few years, I have been very intentional about shedding relationships that no longer work for me. Sometimes they don’t even notice, while others require uncomfortable conversations. Either way, it has freed me up to focus on the people who matter most.
So how do you determine if you’ve outgrown relationships? Think of them like clothes, and you’ll know who needs to go in the proverbial Goodwill pile. Some categories to consider:
Tight and suffocating
I have kept dresses and pants (some leather, new with tags) in hopes they might one day fit again, but in reality, they are uncomfortable and just take up space. Sound like anyone in your life?
It’s OK to recognize that someone is no longer a good fit for you, even if you’ve known them since middle school and grandfathered them in despite many egregious missteps. If they are still introducing themselves as your bestie and talking about drama that happened 40 years ago, as if they are current events, you have your answer.
In need of alteration
We’ve all bought sale items in the wrong size that would be perfect with a few alterations but for some reason, you never get around to it — so there they sit, unwearable.
This is no different than having friends you wish would change their behavior but you’re hesitant to speak up. One girlfriend just did not know how to it tone it down for new audiences and constantly told inappropriate stories.
Her inability to read the room came to a head one night with a story about STDs and summer camp in front of my client. When I called her on it, she unleashed a collection of nasty texts. That was my breaking point and our last conversation.
One-time wear
Many items in my closet were purchased for a particular occasion and, however unintentionally, worn once. So when I see these pieces — like the black-and-white polka dot blouse I wore to a friend’s funeral and the metallic silver dress I splurged on for a gala — I immediately think of those events.
Similarly, when I see certain friends and business associates — in-person or on social media — I am reminded of one-time events with them that really rubbed me the wrong way, but I said nothing and just mentally put them on the “one and done” list.
When you treat a couple to VIP concert tickets and they never buy a round of drinks or say thank you, are they getting invited again? I think not.
Accessories
I have quite the collection of purses, wraps and costume jewelry, most purchased for a particular outfit. In fact, every time I think about donating them, I remember they are part of a package.
This can be true for friends of good friends who think you are closer than you are, simply by affiliation. I once had a friend-of-a-friend see photos from a girl gathering at my house on Instagram and question why she wasn’t invited. That was a surefire way to make sure she never would be.
Making room: Mentally putting people in the category they belong creates space for more quality relationships. For me, the key was differentiating between friends, associates and acquaintances.
The good news is, once you get your personal house in order, you’ll think twice before letting it get out of control again.
Bottom line: When you make room for something new — whether it’s in your closet or your life — great things will happen. Free time is limited, so we should spend it drama-free with those who add value and joy to our lives.
Happy first day of spring tomorrow! Let me know if I’ve inspired you to thin YOUR herd and how it goes.
Colleen Brannan owns BRANSTORM PR and can rarely find the floor of her own closet but loves the idea of spring cleaning nonetheless. Follow her on social: IG (Colleen_Brannan), Twitter (@colleenbrannan) and LinkedIn or email her at colleen@branstorm.com.
Today’s supporting sponsors are Soni Brendle…
… and Ducie Stark, Residential Real Estate Broker with Dickens Mitchener:
WHERE’S THE CROSSWORD?: We shared our usual Saturday crossword puzzle yesterday — timed to a big storyline in the NCAA basketball tournament. You can view all puzzles and solutions on our dedicated crosswords page.
This week in Charlotte: General Assembly wants to redraw election maps; Verdict in restaurant fraud trial; First goal for Charlotte FC; Garth Brooks coming in July
On Saturdays, The Ledger sifts through the local news of the week and links to the top articles — even if they appeared somewhere else. We’ll help you get caught up. That’s what Saturdays are for.
Politics
New commissioner appointed: (Observer) Wilhelmenia Rembert, a former Mecklenburg County commissioner and school board member, was chosen Tuesday to be the interim replacement for Mecklenburg County commissioner Ella Scarborough, who is in hospice care. Rembert will be sworn in on Tuesday.
More redistricting next year? (N.C. Tribune) N.C House Speaker Tim Moore says the General Assembly wants to redraw election maps next year. “We’ll redraw the congressional maps, and we may very well redraw the legislative maps,” he told the N.C. Tribune. State courts drew maps this year after finding maps produced by legislature unconstitutional, but a new state Supreme Court could be give the legislature more leeway. Opponents say the General Assembly lacks the power to redraw election districts in the middle of the decade.
Education
Standardized test requirements coming back?: (Ledger 🔒) The UNC Board of Governors appears to have quietly voted last month to make the SAT or ACT test mandatory as part of fall 2023 admission to the 16 UNC system colleges.
Local news
Garth concert date: Country superstar Garth Brooks is coming to Bank of America Stadium on July 16, Tepper Sports & Entertainment announced this week. Tickets go on sale Friday at 10 a.m. Brooks was scheduled to play in Charlotte in 2020 and postponed the concert several times because of Covid before canceling it last year.
Slain bus driver violated policies, CATS CEO says: (WFAE) After watching the video of the CATS bus driver shot and killed by a motorist last month, CATS CEO John Lewis says “there were multiple policies and procedures that were not followed.” The video shows the bus driver, Ethan Rivera, shouting and cursing at the driver of an SUV for about 25 seconds.
Fraud trial verdict: (WSOC) A jury found a father and son guilty Thursday in a Covid fraud trail involving Charlotte restaurant La Shish Kabob in east Charlotte. Investigators said Izzat Freitekh and his son Tarik Freitekh were behind a scheme that involved Payroll Protection Program loan applications from three different companies totaling around $1.7M. Tarik Freitekh passed out in the courtroom after the verdict was read. The two men will be sentenced in 2 to 6 months.
Business
Ballantyne’s first brewery: (Tuesday) Olde Mecklenburg Brewery plans to open a location in Ballantyne by the end of next year, in the big Ballantyne Reimagined mixed-use development under construction. Developer Northwood Investors later told The Ledger that there will be 20-25 retail and restaurant tenants and that possibilities include a coffee shop, a wine bar and sit-down and counter-service restaurants.
Surgical research and training HQ: (Atrium Health) Atrium Health says a French surgical-training institute called IRCAD wants to open its North American HQ in Charlotte and anchor the first research building in the medical school innovation district that Atrium is calling “The Pearl.” The HQ could be open in 2025, pending additional fundraising for the project. The Ledger reported in November that Charlotte was in the running for the institute.
Sports
Charlotte FC scores its first goal: (Sunday) Charlotte FC defender and North Carolina native Adam Armour scored the first goal in franchise history on Sunday, in a 2-1 loss at Atlanta. Our weekly Fútbol Friday newsletter explored the effect of the goal on the team’s offense, shared the scene from the radio booth and caught up with Armour’s biggest fan.
Panthers don’t get Deshaun Watson: (ESPN) The Carolina Panthers missed the chance to pick up Houston Texans QB Deshaun Watson, who is heading to the Cleveland Browns. The Panthers had wanted to land Watson to spark their offense, though he might have been a controversial pick-up because of sexual assault allegations.
Good reads
What’s in a name (change)? (Charlotte magazine) There have been a bevy of name changes and institutional rebranding around Charlotte in the last couple years, and Tess Allen of Charlotte magazine dives into the stories behind the biggest ones, with context about the reasons entities change their names. “They can be signposts for profound shifts in an organization’s direction or fresh starts under new leadership. They can accompany expansions or contractions. They respond to changing tastes and market trends. Whether they’re big or small — or even whether they ultimately succeed — they’re about keeping up with the times, avoiding the stigma that every entity dreads: irrelevance.”
The rise and fall of the Epicentre: (Charlotte magazine) Last week, a judge approved the foreclosure of the Epicentre, once a hotspot of uptown Charlotte nightlife, clearing it to be sold. Writer Ely Portillo lays out the rise and fall of the development and offers thoughts on what could lie ahead. “In some ways, the Epicentre is just snakebit, a good idea that ran into bad timing. … But the Epicentre was also hobbled from the beginning by poor design decisions and a reliance on clubs and bars in a city that’s not exactly Miami Beach.”
From the Ledger family of newsletters
Council member text messages: (Friday 🔒) Text messages obtained by The Ledger under public records laws offer a peek behind the curtain of why the City Council changed course in January and approved a controversial rezoning in NoDa shortly after voting to postpone a decision.
A vibrant life ended suddenly by a stray bullet: (Ways of Life 🔒) Jimmy Freiberg was a loving husband and father, a real estate agent, a club manager and an employee at a Matthews baseball card shop. His life ended suddenly earlier this month when he was struck by a stray bullet in his Steele Creek community. He was 48. “He was lucky to have three families — his wife and kids, his family of collectors (sports cards), and his service industry family from his DJ days. Jimmy loved them all and they loved him.”
Proms are back: (Wednesday 🔒) Teens are buying gowns and renting limos again, as high schools are bringing back school-sponsored proms after two years of canceled events or smaller DIY parties. Businesses that cater to special events say they’re glad to see the prom business returning. One formalwear shop that sells prom gowns told The Ledger that dresses inspired by the TV show “Bridgerton” are big sellers, with the lacy, corseted look.
Sedation dentistry regulations: (Monday) The North Carolina board that regulates dentists is proposing some of the strictest regulations in the country for sedation dentistry, following the deaths of at least five patients in recent years.
Hot rezonings 🔥: (Monday) In our monthly run-down of rezoning filings, developers detail plans for townhomes in east Charlotte, Mallard Creek, Ballantyne and near Huntersville — plus apartments on Carmel Road and Monroe Road and an office tower in SouthPark.
Brewery fined: (Friday 🔒) An Alcohol Law Enforcement agent cited Lenny Boy Brewing Co. for selling an unauthorized coffee ale last year. The N.C. Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission this week agreed to assess a $1,500 fine for the violation. It also assessed a penalty for a brewery in Waxhaw and agreed to increase the size of growlers.
Farmers experimenting with manure: (Wednesday 🔒) As fertilizer prices increase because of the Russia-Ukraine war, some local farmers are turning to less expensive alternatives such as chicken litter and swine waste. But prices are still likely to rise at the grocery store.
Ledger update: (Thursday 🔒) In a letter to Ledger members this week, editor Tony Mecia said the publication hit a milestone last month, and he gave a behind-the-scenes explanation of how one of the more popular recent Ledger articles, on Charlotte Latin School, came together.
Transportation needs grow: (Transit Time) Charlotte voters will be asked to approve more than $100M in transportation bonds this year to build sidewalks and resurface streets, but the money is not nearly enough to cover all of the city’s needs.
Baseball movement research: (Friday 🔒) UNC Charlotte’s Biodynamics Research Laboratory has become nationally known for the movement data it collects on Charlotte 49ers pitchers and hitters. The lab has earned the attention of staff from the New York Mets and the Baltimore Orioles, who traveled to UNC Charlotte to see the data researchers were gathering on hitters.
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Executive editor: Tony Mecia; Managing editor: Cristina Bolling; Contributing editor: Tim Whitmire, CXN Advisory; Contributing photographer/videographer: Kevin Young, The 5 and 2 Project
Touche Colleen! Love this.