Ways of Life: A sweet son stolen by addiction
Ways of Life: A sweet son stolen by addiction
Also remembered: a longtime Providence High teacher; the founder of Morningstar Storage; a soldier who fought in the Battle of the Bulge; a guy who built a man cave for his neighbors to watch sports
A sample of our new obituaries newsletter for you
Editor’s note: We’re sharing today’s Ways of Life obituaries newsletter with those of you on our free sign-up list as a sample of the excellent work our paying members receive week after week.
Today’s edition is especially poignant — a tragic story that’s a cautionary tale of a 32-year-old taken before his time.
Each week, Ways of Life also summarizes and links to full obituaries of folks in the Charlotte area. You’ll see that it’s a rich tapestry of the human experience — former soldiers and business owners, teachers and mechanics, grandmothers and church volunteers. Their loved ones remember them in a variety of ways — for their charitable hearts, their analytical minds, their man caves with 112-inch TVs and their late-in-life love of Korean pop music.
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Cody Mogensen’s battle with opioid addiction began when he was attacked delivering pizza and ended in an accidental overdose; his family shares his story with the hope of saving others
Cody Mogensen cuddled his mom’s dog, Lexi, in his mom’s backyard on April 15 — less than three weeks before he died of an accidental heroin overdose.
By Ken Garfield
At 10 a.m. Sunday, May 2, Lori Hawes brought her son a cup of coffee, sat on the edge of his bed and talked about putting down mulch in the backyard that afternoon. “He said he would gladly help me,” Hawes recalls.
Ninety minutes later, Cody Mogensen was dead in the bathroom from an accidental overdose of heroin. He had gone to take a shower. That’s how it is, even for a sweet young man like Cody. One moment you’re talking about doing yardwork with your mom. The next you’re gone, victim of an addiction that you spent 14 of your 32 years trying to beat.
Cody’s parents, Lori Hawes and Richard Mogensen, and his sister, Nikki, came together by Zoom to tell us about this beautiful young man. They want us to know the Cody they knew, and to see the light in their son and brother, and all the others who couldn’t escape the darkness.
“Nobody plans to be an addict,” Hawes said at the celebration of her son’s life.
Cody loved the outdoors, could fix anything and, his sister grumbled, always beat her on standardized tests. This is Cody: He was passionate about photography, so one night while living in Asheville, he climbed to the top of a crane to get a great shot of downtown Asheville. “Cats get nine lives and Cody wanted 10,” his father said. Speaking of cats, Cody cried for a week when he lost his first one, Precious. You always knew where he stood, emotionally. His mom says he was a great hugger.
Cody was a senior at Central Cabarrus High School the spring night in 2007 when everything changed. He was 18. Delivering pizzas to earn some spending money, his skull was shattered in what police suspect was a gang-related initiation of some sort. The attackers used a hammer. Surgeons used six small titanium plates to repair the damage. He was prescribed oxycodone for the pain.
The journey had begun. Cody’s father compares it to watching a train wreck — one you are powerless to stop. There were moments in Cody’s life to celebrate. He graduated from A-B Tech and settled in Asheville, working as a chef and living with his beloved golden retriever, Maggie. But then he’d relapse and wind up in rehab, jail or on the streets. Sometimes he’d go MIA because he didn’t want to hurt his parents. Again.
Always, his family would hope.
Last Nov. 14, his mother picked him up from the streets in Matthews. Cody told her, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”
On April 21, his mother picked him up from the Gaston County Jail and brought him home to her house. She remembers the promise. “Mom, I’m done with this. I’m not going back.” Two days later, happy and together, they celebrated Nikki’s 28th birthday with a family dinner at Kid Cashew in Dilworth.
Settled, at least for the moment, in his mom’s house, Cody had a half-dozen books on his dresser. He had gotten a car and purchased some clothes, which he hung neatly in the guest room. He was working with a survey crew, a job he enjoyed. He was going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings and keeping in touch with his sponsor.
At 1:09 a.m. on that last Sunday, May 2, he called his NA sponsor. His mother keeps that information in her phone, dates of his arrests and each time he went in or out of rehab.
At 11:19 a.m., Hawes called 911. She administered CPR until the paramedics arrived.
For those who suffer a loss like this, sharing a warning can provide some measure of comfort. A mission can give you a place to shed the pain if only briefly. Sometimes it’s all you have.
Cody’s parents and sister want us to keep our guard up, to be careful with prescribed opioids, to look for trouble signs in loved ones whatever the drug, including alcohol. More than that, they want us to see addicts for who they truly are — good people with a bad disease, vulnerable souls who need our care and patience.
“You never know what someone is going through,” Hawes said at the service for Cody. “Tell your friends and family members you love them every day.”
In that spirit, here’s the Cody Mogensen we should all hold dear.
His sister remembers how he’d greet their golden retriever Lexi by getting on the floor and acting like a dog.
His mother remembers when he was young how he’d laugh so hard at the supper table ramen noodles would come out of his nose.
His father remembers hiking a waterfall with Cody near Black Mountain. The hike ended with a steep climb that required a rope to reach the top. Father and son weren’t alone. They had Maggie, their 75-pound Golden Retriever. No worries. Cody picked her up and carried her to the top.
No one, in Cody’s mind, gets left behind.
Ken Garfield is a freelance writer/editor who specializes in obituaries. Reach him at garfieldken3129@gmail.com.
Other obituaries this week:
Beverly Thomas Allen, 70, of Charlotte graduated from East Mecklenburg High School in 1968 and from UNC Charlotte in 1972. She worked for Catalytic Engineering, Duke Energy and with her husband at Russell Allen & Associates.
Usamah Tagjy Abdul Rahmaan “Garrie Anderson,” 73, of Charlotte served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War and was awarded a Purple Heart before his honorable discharge in 1968. Known to some as “Rock,” he started his career in home renovations, doing what he loved — working with his hands and enjoying his craftsmanship. He was self-employed for more than 30 years. “He was a man of faith, strong convictions and would tell you exactly how he felt whether you liked it or not.”
Betty Battle Bell, 96, of Concord attended Duke University and Queens College and worked for Safeco Insurance for 15 years as a claims secretary. Betty’s final church home was St. James Lutheran Church in Concord, where she enjoyed singing with seniors. “She enjoyed spending time with her family, particularly her grandchildren, and always placed others before herself.”
Stephen Earle Benson, 80, of Charlotte had a long and varied professional career that included opening the first Wendy’s franchises in the states of Pennsylvania, Delaware and New Jersey. After moving with his family to Charlotte in 1979, he founded Morningstar Storage, which grew to be the 10th-largest storage company in the country. He was instrumental in the planning and the building of the columbarium at Christ Lutheran Church on Providence Road, where he was a devoted member and sang in the choir for 26 years.
Alice Brooks Biggers, 98, of Mint Hill was very active in the Ashley Park community and loved cooking, her church, flower garden, sports and being a scout leader, but her greatest love was her family and friends. Her fondest memories growing up in the Clear Creek area with her twin brother were roaming the farm and woods and hanging around the train tracks, where they would feed the homeless with food from their father’s country store.
William Richard “Bill” Bilbro, 96, of Jamestown was drafted in the U.S. Army where he fought in the Battle of the Bulge. After the war, he attended Guilford College, graduating in 1950 before joining General Electric Credit Corp. in Greensboro in 1952. He was transferred to Charlotte in 1955 and retired from there after 35 years with the company.
Anna Baucom Burr, 50, of Monroe graduated from Independence High School in 1989 and attended Central Piedmont Community College, UNC Charlotte and Ashford University. She loved teaching children and worked as a preschool teacher at many schools, with the latest being at the YMCA on Kuykendall Road. Anna was passionate about writing and created a website for posting book reviews as well as author promotions and events. In addition, she read and edited early drafts for several published authors.
Debra Hartsell “Debby” Byers, 70, of Little River, S.C., was a star advertising sales representative for more than 25 years at the Charlotte Observer and the Charlotte Weekly. Later in life, she obtained her real estate license and began a career in real estate. In high school, she began singing ’60s, R&B and beach music in bands with Larry Farber and then with Smitty Flynn and the Rivieras. She relished her role as “fun Aunt Debby” and had a gift for storytelling and the ability to make everyone feel special. “A vivacious, outgoing child from the start, the folks said she could talk and sing full songs before she could walk!”
Fred Davis Collins Jr. 87, of Charlotte graduated summa cum laude from Charlotte College (later UNC Charlotte), where he was a member of Phi Theta Kappa fraternity. He spent a successful career of over 50 years in advertising, marketing and media relations and founded his own firm, Fred Collins Advertising Inc., in 1981. Fred was a member of Dilworth United Methodist Church and a loyal Shriner and Mason for over 50 years. He enjoyed hunting and fishing, but golf was his second love after his family.
Chuck Cunningham, 51, of Charlotte was a brown belt in mixed martial arts and loved teaching martial arts to kids, including his two sons. He spent many years working security at Charlotte Motor Speedway. Chuck worked for Hedrick Gardner for more than 15 years as an operations manager and in other roles. He was a big fan of the Georgia Bulldogs and the Carolina Panthers and built a man cave with a 112-inch TV so the whole neighborhood could come over and watch the games. Chuck enjoyed sending his family Tik Toks “to improve their lives with valuable life hacks and funny content to make them laugh.”
Jerry Gill Davis, 77, of Wesley Chapel taught agriculture at several South Carolina high schools including Indian Land High School, where he was named as the outstanding teacher for four consecutive years. He served as the Western Region Agriculture Education Coordinator and was a member of multiple organizations including the Union United Methodist Church, the Farm Bureau, the Union County Cattlemen’s Association, Wesley Chapel Fire Department board of directors and was the Union County Soil and Water Conservation Commissioner.
Brodie Griffith Dowd, 64, of Charlotte graduated from Myers Park High School and spent his career as an accomplished printer in Charlotte. He was the grandson and namesake of the late Brodie S. Griffith, who was the associate publisher of both the Charlotte Observer and the Charlotte News. He was predeceased by his wife, JoAnn S. Dowd, in 2009 and is survived by two children and three grandchildren. “He will be remembered for his quick wit and intelligence, sense of humor, savviness on the grill and generosity to family and friends.”
Doyle Harvey, 91, of Mount Holly served in the U.S. Air Force, then started his career as a diesel mechanic and opened Complete Truck Service in 1972, where he worked until 2000. During his “retirement,” he opened the Treasure Chest antique mall in Belmont, was a regular seller at Metrolina Expo in Charlotte and kept a booth at Catawba River Antique Mall until his death. He discovered a new talent at age 81, when he began to draw. He had an exhibit at the Gaston County Museum of Art, and one of his highlights as an artist was drawing a rendition of the Billy Graham Library and presenting it to the library for the Rev. Billy Graham.
Kevin Vincent Healy, 69, of Charlotte graduated from Belmont Abbey College in 1979. He played in a band during college and was a big fan of Jimi Hendrix. His career was spent in hospitality and he was a huge sports fan and an avid follower of the Charlotte Hornets and the Carolina Panthers.
Brandon Everett Hillman, 70, of Little River, S.C., graduated from Concord High School and UNC Chapel Hill, then started a career in sales that took him to various parts of the country, although he always considered Concord his home base. Sports were a major focus of his life, as a participant as well as a spectator. He knew all the stats and was a big Boston Red Sox fan. Brandon was a biblical scholar and could quote hundreds of biblical references and passages. He was a wonderful storyteller and had a love for the beach and music, including singing old hymns.
Katherine Suzan (Estes) Hilton, 70, of Waxhaw worked many years caring for infants at Waxhaw United Methodist Church, which was her greatest joy. Her photo albums contained hundreds of pictures of children as they passed from infants to adults. She attended the Oakhurst Baptist Church in Charlotte. “She had a special gift for numbers and dates that approached genius level.”
Mary (Haskins) Knox, 88, of Cleveland spent 34 years in education, starting as a teacher and retiring as a media specialist, working in Rowan, Iredell and Davie Counties. She was a member of Third Creek Presbyterian Church, where she taught Sunday school and served on the church session.
Nancy Page Isphording MacMillan, 73, of Charlotte was one of the first 100 freshman women ever admitted to the UNC Chapel Hill’s College of Arts and Science and graduated with an education degree in 1969. She received her master of education from UNC Charlotte and began her career teaching in the Alamance County School system before moving to Charlotte and teaching part-time at Central Piedmont Community College. She joined Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools, first teaching English at Harding High School for five years before teaching English at Providence High School, where she had a nearly 30-year career. After retirement, she enjoyed being a docent at the Mint Museum.
David George Mauney, 66, of Charlotte worked for Pyramid Masonry Contractors in Atlanta before moving to Charlotte in 1987 to open its North Carolina office, where he worked until he retired in 2019 as executive vice president. David was an active member of Providence United Methodist Church and taught children’s Sunday school classes for 10 years before joining their cherished Crosstalkers Adult Sunday school class. He volunteered serving meals at Roof Above, one of their local mission partners. Golf was an important part of his life, and he was a Saturday regular in the Fowler Group at Carmel Country Club, where he served as president in 2018.
Dr. Luther Morris McEwen M.D. III, 75, of Charlotte graduated from Myers Park High School and UNC Chapel Hill medical school. He completed residencies in otolaryngology at the University of California–Irvine and in forensic psychiatry at the University of Florida. He owned a private practice, Psychiatric and Forensics Associates, and was a highly respected forensic psychiatrist who performed evaluations at the Mecklenburg County Jail, the Union County Jail and the North Carolina Board of Nursing. “From performing minor surgeries at the kitchen table to seeing patients for barters or at no charge, Dr. McEwen was known as a ‘wizard’ who helped even the most complex cases to fully live their lives.”
Renee Molko, 83, enrolled in college as a mother of three in her 40s and earned a degree in fine arts from UNC Charlotte. She also studied at the Penland School of Crafts. Renee’s prolific career as an artist encompassed owning an art studio wherever she lived, teaching to both children and adults and having her works exhibited all over the United States. Renee held leadership or teaching positions with Hadassah, Temple Israel, Charlotte Jewish Community Center and Spirit Square, among others. She generously supported many educational, philanthropic and female empowerment endeavors.
Richard Edwin Morton, 64, of Charlotte practiced environmental law for 30 years in Charlotte as a partner at Womble Bond Dickinson. His legal excellence was recognized many times, most recently as Environmental Lawyer of the Year 2021 in Charlotte. He was an avid cyclist and a nationally ranked adventure racer. He loved the outdoors and was happiest when hiking with the family dogs, mountain biking at Charlotte’s U.S. National Whitewater Center or camping during long adventure races. He enjoyed tinkering with old sports cars and was in the process of restoring a 1968 Triumph 250 at the time of his death. He died after a yearlong battle with cancer.
Lois Smith, 79, was a lifelong resident of Charlotte, and in her professional career, she worked as a mathematics teacher, was a clothing buyer for Ivey’s Department Stores and an EDI coordinator for Belk store services. Lois was a member of Myers Park United Methodist Church.
Howard Rhys Taylor Sr. 95, of Charlotte served in the US Army during World War II as a combat engineer. After college, he moved to Charlotte and was an insurance executive for over 30 years with the Home Insurance Co. He was a charter member of Providence Country Club, where he explored his love for golf.
Patricia Yates, 77, of Charlotte attended Myers Park High School and Wingate College. She worked for Hartford Insurance and Yates Structural Engineering. She was an original Charlotte Hornets fan and attended more than 300 games. At the end of her life, she became a fan of Korean pop music.
Leslie Galen Young, 45, was a star basketball player for UNC Charlotte from 1997-1999, whose life ended tragically on June 5 after a vehicle violently crashed into his mother’s home in Memphis, where he was living at the time. Galen helped lead UNCC’s basketball team to 23 victories and the second round of the NCAA tournament. He was a second-round draft pick of the Milwaukee Bucks, though he spent his professional career playing basketball in 15 countries. Following retirement from his playing career and the birth of his twin sons, Grayson and Ellis, Galen finished his bachelor’s degree in criminal justice at UNC Charlotte. With his degree in hand, Galen began a university coaching career.
John Robert Zimmerman, 79, of Davidson grew up in Pennsylvania and served in the U.S. Army as a second lieutenant. He was awarded an Army Commendation Medal as well as a Bronze Star while deployed in Vietnam. He received a degree in business administration from Bucknell University and worked for 27 years at Wachovia (formerly First Union) before retiring as a vice president of information technology. In his spare time he enjoyed fishing, traveling and spending time with his family.
Ways of Life condensed obituaries are compiled by Darrell Horwitz, a Charlotte-based freelance writer who writes about sports, local news and restaurants. Reach him at darrellhorwitz@gmail.com
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Ways of Life editor: Cristina Bolling